How to keep my relationship healthy: a practical guide for now

Every relationship has its moments of doubt. You might wonder if you're still as in love as you were in the beginning, or how to avoid falling into a rut. The good news is that a healthy relationship doesn't have to be perfect. With a little attention and small changes, you can achieve a lot. You'll discover concrete steps to keep your relationship strong and healthy.

Table of contents

• Communication that connects

• Quality time in busy schedules

• Intimacy and playfulness

  • Gentle start: massage and relaxation

  • Sensitivity and comfort: skin-friendly choices

• Handling conflicts in a healthy way

• Growing together

• Sample weekly schedule: 7 days connection

• Frequently Asked Questions

• Conclusion

Communication that connects

A relaxed couple on the couch, chatting, an example of good communication in a relationship. Good communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. It might sound cliché, but truly listening to each other prevents misunderstandings and strengthens your bond. Try active listening: put your phone away, look at your partner, and show that you're listening. Open-ended questions ("How did that make you feel?") demonstrate your interest.

Also use "I" when you want to raise an issue. For example, say "I feel worried when you come home late" instead of "You're always late." This reduces the chance of the other person feeling attacked and keeps the conversation respectful. Furthermore, a brief "check-in" every day is valuable. Such micro-check-ins are small: a kiss upon waking, a sweet message during the day. Moments like these help you stay connected.

Relationship researcher John Gottman found that couples spend an average of only about 35 minutes a week actually talking to each other Often, it's just about practical matters. Consciously making time for deeper conversations ensures you both feel seen and heard again. This lays a strong foundation for the rest of your relationship.

Quality time in busy schedules

Couples cook together and enjoy quality time in a modern kitchen. Spending quality time together doesn't have to last hours. It's about the attention you give each other. For example, plan 20-minute mini-dates: have a cup of coffee together in the morning before the hustle and bustle starts, or take a short walk hand in hand in the evening. Even fifteen minutes of truly being together can make a big difference.

Make it a habit to reserve regular time for each other. A recurring ritual, like a movie night every Friday or breakfast together on Sunday, gives you something to look forward to. Also, agree on a digital break: both of you put your phones away during your time together. Without distractions, you can genuinely focus on each other, and that immediately feels like quality time.

Quality time is about quality, not quantity. Five minutes of genuine connection is often more valuable than an hour spent side by side on the couch with your phone in hand. So don't be afraid to start small. By scheduling time together, you show that your relationship is a priority.

Intimacy and playfulness

Intimacy is more than sex; it's about closeness and pleasure in a safe environment. When you both feel comfortable, there's room for playfulness and connection. So, ensure consent and respect each other's boundaries. Start slowly and subtly. A secure foundation ensures that exciting moments later become truly enjoyable.

Gentle start: massage and relaxation

A burning massage candle in the foreground, with a relaxed couple in the background. Set the tone with relaxation and gentleness. For example, plan an evening where you take turns massaging each other. Light a special massage candle with warm-scented massage oil (skin-friendly and discreetly packaged). A massage or a warm bath together can lower the barrier to re-establishing physical contact, without the immediate expectation of sex.

Then, slowly build the tension with small gestures. Start by cuddling or stroking each other's backs. You don't have to force anything. Intimacy grows naturally when you're both relaxed.

Sensitivity and comfort: skin-friendly choices

Pay close attention to each other's reactions and needs during intimate moments. Comfort is crucial, both emotionally and physically. A good lubricant from our wellness collection, for example, can prevent discomfort and ensure everything runs smoothly. When you both feel comfortable, you can relax and enjoy yourself more.

Are you both feeling relaxed? Then dare to try something new for a playful touch. Surprise each other with beautiful lingerie, for example, or try a small toy like a cock ring . Approach it lightheartedly and with humor. Nothing has to be perfect. The most important thing is that you both have fun and feel safe with each other.

Handling conflicts in a healthy way

No relationship is free of disagreements. The difference lies in how you argue. Create a few ground rules or "rules" together. For example, agree on: no yelling or name-calling, let each other talk, and take a break if emotions run high. This way, an argument remains fair and respectful. If an argument does escalate, consciously schedule a ten-minute time-out to cool down (for example, take a walk around the block). Afterward, you can continue the conversation more calmly.

After a conflict, it's important to reconnect. Make amends: apologize if necessary, hug each other, and briefly discuss what went wrong and how things can be improved next time. This way, you learn from every argument. Remember: you're facing the problem together, not each other.

Growing together

A healthy relationship is constantly evolving. So, keep growing together instead of apart. For example, set a shared goal to work towards: from a house project to training together for a 5K run. Working on something as a team strengthens your bond. Also, stay curious about each other. Regularly ask your partner what they dream of or what they'd like to do together.

Don't forget to express appreciation. A small daily appreciation ritual works wonders: give each other at least one sincere compliment or thank you every day. Research by Canadian psychologist Yoobin Park shows that expressing gratitude improves relationship quality. A simple "thank you" can therefore create greater connection.

Sample weekly schedule: 7 days connection

The weekly schedule below shows you how to incorporate a small moment of connection into your daily routine. Use this schedule as inspiration and feel free to adapt it to your own life.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you plan quality time with young children?
Schedule quality time when the children are asleep. Consider asking a family member or babysitter to watch over you occasionally so you can truly have an evening together.

How do you bring back romance without a big budget?
Romance doesn't have to cost anything. Often, it's all in the small gestures: write a sweet letter and hide it somewhere, organize a candlelit picnic in the living room, or dance together to your favorite song.

How do you break the rut in a long-term relationship?
Break the routine by consciously doing something new. Try a new recipe, choose a different hiking route, or spontaneously plan a day trip together. This way, you'll break out of autopilot and breathe new life into your routine.

What can we do if we argue often?
You can also approach arguments more healthily. Make a few agreements together: take turns listening, avoid name-calling, and take a time-out if emotions run high. Try to reconnect calmly after each argument: apologize if necessary, and think together about how you'll do things differently next time.

How do you spice up your sex life after years together?
Talk openly together about what you enjoy and might miss, because good communication is the first step. Then start small with something new: plan an evening of intimacy, take time for extra-long foreplay, or give each other a sensual massage. Focus on pleasure instead of performance, and passion can blossom again.